I’m going to wander way off the reservation here. This is one of those topics that make me want to either write, scream, or cry.
Anyone who has followed my various writing pursuits for any period of time is aware that we have 3 daughters of marriageable age. It’s also no secret that their mother’s vision of ideal manhood is a primitive, patriarchal, visceral archetype; the opposite of post-modern masculinity, such as it were. They have been instilled with a bit of that mindset as well.
It is also clear to anyone with a modicum of observation skills that the lines between masculinity and femininity have bled over into each other so that finding good examples of either requires an exhaustive search.
Much has been said about women being too male identified, particularly with regard to black women, and I’ll concede that charge could accurately be leveled at me. What I never thought I’d see however, is a day when men would readily and without reservation self-identify as being anything less than all man. Even if he has his doubts, he used to have enough man in him to fake it till he made it.
This is however, exactly where we are. From The Decline of the Manly Man at PJ Media:
Research from YouGov shows that the muscular masculinity of decades past is a fading feature of American life for the young. Americans were asked to rate themselves on a scale of 0 to 6, there 0 is ‘completely masculine’ and 6 is ‘completely feminine’. 65% of men over the age of 65 say that they are ‘completely masculine, while only 28% of men aged 30 to 44 and 30% of men aged 18 to 29 say the same. Among under-30s, 13% put themselves halfway between the masculine and the feminine, while 12% say that they are at least slightly feminine. Only 4% of over-65 men say that they are at all feminine.
My first instinct to to dismiss this out of hand as so much nonsense. How many men did they survey and what part of the country was this survey taken in? This can’t be true! Then I remembered that in every walk of life, you get more of what you reward. We reward femininity and praise men who are in touch with their feminine side.
I’ve never believed that 80% of the women are after 20% of the men. I literally laughed at the notion that 95% of the women are chasing 5% of the men. But if this is to be taken at face value, it is pretty clear that 100% of the women are after about 30% of the men. Those are some daunting stats.
If it takes our girls a while to stumble onto, click with, and commit to one of those 30%, I can certainly understand why now. The pickin’s are slim.